it's a virtue (or whatever)...

we were ready. we were so ready. we'd kept it to ourselves for a long time, spilling no more than 3 beans at a time. afterall, buying a house is a big deal, and we're not superstitious or anything but you know the old adage of counting chickens and such. house inspection and reinspection? check. repairs completed? check. earnest money and all intial payments prepared? check. insurance policy? ... um, hello? insurance policy? ... the agent we spoke to weeks ago, who seemed like a really cool guy and was a referral from a friend and colleague and was oh so eager to get our business, has suddenly fallen off the edge of the earth! called his office and cell phone to no avail. so now what? won't be closing on a home on wednesday. (grrr!) i'm much better than i was yesterday, but let's just say that if this was jersey i might have to call in a favor. (okay, i don't really have that kind of pull and maybe i watch too many mafia movies, but i was tempted.) dude is f*cking with our investments - not a good look. but i think to myself, "t, what happened to your patience? you used to be so much better at it? wait. you have no power here. just wait. what is for you IS FOR YOU, you already know that, and nothing and no one can keep you from having what God has prepared for you. foolish girl! putting your faith in man! God is ALL the insurance and assurance you need. He is the best of all planners. be still and know..." so now we may not close until thursday or friday. and we may use a different insurance company (we will definitely use another agent). and God is for us, so who can be against us? lemme go. me and God, we gotta go get this house.

below is the email i just sent ol' boy. it is professional, no? consider the situation handled. *all names and stuff changed to protect blah blah blah...*

Greetings You,

I hope this email reaches you in good health and spirits. I'm writing to let you know that my husband, HomeBoy, and I had to work with another Yummy's Ins agent to attain our policy.

Yesterday morning, I received a phonecall from our advisor saying that she had yet to receive the proper paperwork from our insurance provider. Following that conversation, and for the rest of the day, I attempted to call your office and cell phone but to no avail. We were contracted to close on Wednesday, and could not move forward without proof of insurance. So, this morning I called the Yummy's office again, but I spoke with another agent to solidify the policy. We will not be able to close on Wednesday, but hopefully we can close on Thursday.

I inform you of the details because it is important that you understand we were in a precarious position, and we had to find a way to close as soon as possible. It most certainly is not a personal affront; I think you are personable and easy to work with, and perhaps we can still come to you if we switch our auto insurance.

Sincerely,
"The Lady Who's Way Less Pissed Than She Was Yesterday"

in the moment...a haiku...

It's raining outside
I couldn't be happier
Finally release

break the chain... just for fun... but i'm not kidding...

There once was a little girl who loved to read. She read everything – twice! She read cereal boxes when she ate breakfast. She read the nutrition information on the back of her lunch. She read the newspaper over dinner. She read herself to sleep each night. It was more than an affinity; it was a compulsion. She literally could not stop herself. One day, the girl checked her email and had a message about another young girl with the same problem. The girl in the email had come to a bitter end. Her compulsion to read was so strong that she never blinked. Eventually, her eyes dried up and she went blind. So then she learned to read Braille. She read so much Braille that she rubbed her fingerprints off. One particularly noisy day, the girl went to the store. She tried to cross the street and, because she could not hear the sound of the approaching horn, was hit by a bus. It knocked all of her teeth out, and she died. Without fingerprints or dental records for identification, the girl had a pauper’s funeral…

That story was not true, but I'm sure you knew that. This is an anti-chain letter. It will not bring you luck or misfortune. It does not ask you to send money or say a prayer. It does not try to cheer you up or make you look on the bright side. It is simply a statement of malice for chain letters and their propagators. (Okay, malice is a bit much… How about disapproval?) Have you any idea how annoying it is to receive these things? Do you know how big of a let down it is to see a message from one of your cool folks just to open it up and find out that they’re trying to get a free gift certificate from Applebee’s? It is not amusing. Countless seconds and metacarpal strength are lost everyday deleting chain letter emails. You wouldn’t spend the postage to send such messages out to people for real, so why send pointless mass emails? Enough is enough already. Cut it out. Seriously.

If you send this message to 4 people – nothing will happen.
If you send it to 8 people – NOTHING WILL HAPPEN.
If you send it to everyone in your address book –Something may happen…but it won’t be because of this dang blasted message.
If I get this message back – [dude] you were so not listening.

;)

the ranting eyebrow thread...

It’s kind of sad that after all this time I return to my blog with a post about eyebrow maintenance. But when I develop slight anxiety at the thought of trying to find a suitable aesthetician in this city of fountains; and when every time I go home, I visit my old spot like they’re family; and when I actually consider working 2 or 3 annual trips home into my budget for the sake of my eyebrows, it’s serious.

I am a diehard advocate of the threading technique. Since my sister turned me on to it about 5 years ago, I’ve been hooked. (Cue background music…) Sure I’ve gone back to waxing once or twice when I was desperate, but I’ve always come back. What threading and I share is too strong. (Stop music.) Generally, I don’t wear makeup, and the proper eyebrow means that I don’t really have to (not to mention that my allergies cause such intense eye rubbing that I’d look like the only raccoon 10 minutes into my day). I thought that I didn’t like a dramatic eyebrow; this is not true. It just has to be the right kind of drama, and threading does it every time.

How perfect is threading in general (and my aesthetician in particular)? She remembers me when I go, and I never have to specify what I want. It’s exactly as it should be EVERY SINGLE TIME. Both times when I’ve tried to come out of my comfort zone and go to someone recommended by a friend or coworker I’ve experienced a range of emotion, from unsatisfied to down right disappointment. I give explicit direction, but to no avail. The first time I went to someone out here, I was so disappointed that I felt like I was making a donation when I left. “I can’t be compensating for services rendered,” I think to myself, “she hasn’t done anything!” The second time, I will admit, the outcome was decent. But I’m not used to decent; I’m used to the best.

So what have I decided to do? I am going to try to learn the threading technique because even though I could never thread my own eyebrows, far be it from me to deprive these Midwest women of a different (better?) way. (And for a fraction of the ridiculous price that others are charging.) In the meantime, I will search for an Indian population in the city of fountains, and my tweezers and I will continue to fight the good fight as we try to maintain the shape given to us the last time I was on the East coast.

(IOU: a substantive post)

suspicion confirmed...case closed...

The first time I saw a commercial for the new tbs series "House of Payne", I had the strangest feeling that it would be horrible and I would hate it. Though I trust my intuition, I thought this feeling may be a personal bias masquerading as intuition. So, I watched the premiere last night (well, one episode of it), and sure enough - it was horrible, but I didn't hate it. I felt too embarrassed to hate it; surely the creator believed in this show. The network believed in this show, and here was the first episode failing miserably. Even the automated laughing sounded forced (either that or a live studio audience was half asleep), and the guest appearance of Madea didn't help. Her ignorant humor doesn't translate too well on the small screen; Perry's inexperience is evident, and his jokes are over articulated. (You know, like when a cornball says something he thinks is funny, but gets no response so he repeats himself with the hope that people will hear it and laugh the second time?) The high points? Keke Palmer as the school yard bully and China Anne McClain as Jazmine Payne, whose character can be described in one infamous word "fresh" (as in "don't be fresh!"). It had that car wreck appeal the first time around, but I won't be watching it again. There are some things, apparently, even a big black man in a dress can't save (i.e. see also "Norbit" and sequel to "Big Mama's House").

Poor tbs, they've agree to 100 episodes of this nonsense.

it's that time again...

Gemini

Your sign is the only double sign in the zodiac and because of that, it is fascinating. This double aspect is both a source of benefit and of conflict. Yes, you can both like and hate at the same time, be both excited and bored. In short, you are full of contradictions. These create numerous tensions and are the source of many conflicts with your surroundings.

Your personality is thus subject to assault by many sensations, sometimes leading to delicate situations, especially in the area of feelings, (which are difficult for you to handle). How many times have you not been driven past enthusiasm to exhaustion, from an exaggerated life-style to the temptation to leave everything behind ? Your air element makes life difficult for you. You have a tendency to create complications because you have needs beyond those which others can satisfy. And you are not content with half-measures, or mediocrities.

You have a vivid imagination which you want to make into reality, sometimes even though this is not possible. In this sense you are often disappointed by life, disappointed by others. In the domain of action, you either want to let go completely, or, you want to do one thousand things at a the same time. You start projects that you don't finish or that are impracticable.

On the other hand, you will take risks to alleviate boredom and this could be very profitable. But you can sometimes waste chances and it is solely because of yourself.

Yet, with your planet in Mercury, you inherited charm and the capacity for action. (But also for often wasted chances). Your relations with others are often difficult, leading to few long term relationships! Yet you have great potential and qualities that you may waste uselessly.

Your main fault is a lack of constancy and combativeness. Sometimes when your difficulties are real, you can get yourself easily out of it when you decide to take things in hand and not change your view. You usually come through these situations well even though you have to fight against yourself.

Just because I don't believe in the stuff doesn't mean that it isn't, sometimes, incriminatingly accurate.

Photo from here. Text from there.

chaos, mayhem, pandemonium...frenzy!

While perusing the newly added posts of blogher.org, I came across this call to creative writers, dreamers, and procrastinators everywhere; it's a month long, international project called script frenzy, and, my friends, it is exactly that. In thirty days, all participants are charged to write 20,000 words in the form of a screenplay or stage play. Fade-in was 12:00am in June 1st, and fade-out is 11:59pm on June 30th. Everyone who meets the word count is a winner; everyone who tries is a celebrated participant. There's no cash prize, and they (the script frenzy people) have a computer program that does a word count when you submit the writing, so there's no real danger of plagiarism. I discovered this automated muse on the evening of the 31st of May - not much time to think it over, but I decided to jump in. So why did I decide to do it? Why not? There's motivation without pressure. True to form, the first 24 hours have come and gone, and I have no more of a script than I did when I discovered the project. But what am I doing? I'm telling you all about it instead of getting to work. Call it a part of my "process." Perhaps this will be the proverbial fire under my a*s. I'll be sure to keep yous guys aware of my progress- however shameful it may be.

hell breaks loose in jena... you didn't get the memo?

This is my disclaimer: I do not want to swear. I will try not to swear, but considering the circumstances - if I do, please understand. That being said, I would like to share a troubling story with you; these event's occured a long, long time ago (september 2006) in a land far, far away (jena, louisiana). In a local high school that is 80% white, 3 of the 85 black students in the entire school asked school officials if they could sit in the shade under some tree in the school yard. *(First eyebrow-raiser: it is an intergrated school; students share the courtyard. why in hell are they asking permission to sit down under an MF tree? but the students know their environment way better than I do, and I guess they were just making sure.) The powers that be told the students it was fine; they could sit wherever they wanted. And they did. The next day, the same tree had three nooses (Yes, i can spell. Yes, you can read.) hanging from it. Apparently, some of the majority students did not agree with the school officials. While the principal wanted the students expelled, the superintendent felt the nooses were a "youthful stunt" that deserved nothing more than a slap on the wrist. *(Second eyebrow raiser: did anyone notice if the superintendent had a white hood sticking out of his collar?) All kinds of violence and calamity ensued. Yet delusional Murphy McMillan, mayor of Jena, Louisiana, had this to say: "Jena is a place that's moving in the right direction. Race is not a major local issue. It's not a factor in the local people's lives." If by "right direction" he means "backwards", and if by "major" he means "acknowledged and addressed, and if by "not a factor" he means "totally affects everything we do, whether we are conscious of it or not." - Then hell, I totally agree. Either Jena has a small Af-Am population,, or this isn't an election year....Some BS...

so close, and yet so far...

Thank you Canada - free healthcare, the Toronto Film Festival, and now a television series that addresses Muslims living in the west IN A REAL WAY. Don't be fooled by the title, which I believe is an intentional juxstaposition of terms that are unabashedly American and expectedly "foreign." "Little Mosque on the Prairie" clues us in immediately to the worlds that will coexist - not collide - in this series. It has good writing with characters that I came to relate to, and at the very least recognize, before I even got through the first episode. Thanks to YouTube, I was able to view some of this cutting edge and yet so timely sitcom (I guess it qualifies as such). The experiences are intensified because the setting is a small town where some people have a mentality of the same name; the entire community is not Muslim, so we see Muslims interacting with non-Muslims as well as Muslims with different perspectives interacting with each other. What I really like is that in just the first episode 3 Muslimahs were distinguished as important characters, and each woman is of a different ethnic background. I am not an Islamic scholar by far, but speaking as a writer i think it's a strong concept that handles the subject matter in a way that is respectful, open-hearted, and clever.

I do not know if such a series could survive in the states, but I would hope so. Sure, some of the humor is esoteric, but hey ask a Muslim friend or acquaintance why it's funny. Better yet - make one, then ask them. This is what I hope the show will do. It's not as important to make Muslims palatable for public consumption as it is to demystify and rehumanize us. It's more than no pork, people. "Little Mosque on the Prairie", like any sitcom, is fiction; you may be offended or misguided if you look to it for the absolute truth or a general consensus about all Muslims (though, you would be misguided to do that regarding anything). Yet, I have to admit that it made me feel good to see a Muslim woman being clever and candid and covered. I saw her and smiled and something inside said, "Me too!" I don't even know what percentage of the cast is actually Muslim, but that doesn't matter. She is there. she is not invisible. People can she her, and therefore people can see me.

But let me warn you now that if you go to YouTube to watch, avoid the comments at all costs because they range from highly supportive to intensely hateful and disturbing. This is common throughout the www, I'm sure, where people can show their asses without showing their faces, but I just don't have the stomach for it. And if you don't either, then don't bother with the comments.

how many of us have them?

Been thinking about relationships and connecting lately, especially as it pertains to friends. All of these internet connecting spaces make it quite possible to never lose touch with anyone you've ever met in your life (I am not exaggerating). When the encounter is more that haphazard or singular, say, seeing the same person in high school everyday or sharing a campus for 4 years (give or take some time if you were a mover), then it's reasonable to say that a rapport may have developed. I don't assume a friendship but at least the pleasant acknowledgement of another's existence. Add to that the fact that we tend to remember things more fondly as the time between our present and said past increases (that maybe an assumption), and we arrive at this strange space where everyone is "friends" and very few are substantive. If this at all applies to you, weigh in on it; if not, feel free to tell me how big a deal i'm making about nothing.

There have been a few times when the internet has allowed me to reconnect with people i've held very dear to me but for some odd reason we lost touch, or develop a friendship with someone I didn't connect with until my time at an appointed place was nearly over. More often, the internet allows me the opportunity to maintain communication with my homies du jour when we don't speak on the phone. Recently, I've even decided to engage an immensely popular connecting space as a fresh way to build with blood relatives who live at great distances. To be candid, much of what does not fall into one of those categories above is filler. It is true that I sometimes have random musings about a person that I am not close to. I wonder how that person is doing, and I can locate and ask them just that in a matter of points and clicks - that is a great thing. However, this convenience comes at the high price of agonizing over expanding networks and friend requests and such. Why am I wondering how greatly someone will be impacted if i don't accept them into my "cyber clique"? Why don't the MySpace/Friendster/Facebooks of the world have any rejection options that range from "politely decline" to "that's wack - you barely know me"? Especially when a great number of these "friendships" will not go beyond the intial request and the occasional chain letter? And let's not forget the folks who request for the sake of building their numbers up (I wouldn't even have mentioned this if it wasn't true). I don't want to contribute to anyone's false sense of self-importance. Maybe I am overestimating my own.

Before all of this, connecting took effort, and that effort weeded out the proximal companions, for the most part (that phrase sounds so right, but it looks terrible in print) - the ones who were really down found a way to KIT if they could. Sometimes it mean that we lost people as a result of moving away, attending a different school or any myriad of things that cause a change on location. The up side to this? We weren't as cut off to new people because "nobody can make it out here alone." (to borrow from that cinematic breakthrough that was Poetic Justice.) Consider this: how hard do we really have to work at creating new connections if we never have to lose the old ones? How easy is it to stay to yourself all day during work at a new job or new school, if you get to come home and tell your old heads about how different your new digs are? Furthermore, people [are supposed to] change, and maybe staying in the same comfort zone with familiar folks is stunting. There's no room to meet the individuals who reflect who you are at the present, if you're hanging on to people in the past. And by "hanging on" I don't mean simply keeping in touch, that's fine; I mean, everyday, to the letter, tell-me-everything-that's-happened-since-i-moved kind of "hanging on."

check up on it...

If you're in a WalMart store any time soon (not that I am pro-WalMart by any means, but maybe make an exception this time), and you see a collection of six cards in purples and browns, with one word on the cover in funky lettering, and a snappy message inside - pick one of them up. (hell, pick up the whole set of six if you'd like.) It's something i've had my hand in. Take a gander, let me know what you think, and then find someone to give 'em to. Better yet, get one for yourself and tape it to your wall or prop it up on your desk as a daily reminder of how fly you is.

my sentiments exactly...almost...

it's not just birthdays and holidays anymore, people. there's a cardline called "journeys" and it's in hallmark gold crown stores and it covers everything from chemo to coming out. this ain't yo grandma's greeting cards.

the curse of adaptability... and a new clinical term...

one way people identify their “callings”
in life is by deciding what they could never do without – art, music,
math, the newspaper. if something comes to mind, that is at least a
place to start. but what if you don’t know what you can’t do without?
what if you are an extremely, go-with-the-flow, totally adaptable
person? does this mean you have no passion? no ambition? no drive?
let’s take it a step further, pair that adaptability with the ability
to learn things quickly, then toss in a laundry list of affinities.
you’re left somewhere in the middle of possibility, but not the green
hills, sunshine kind of possibility; this is the seedy shadow of
possibility – that bastard cousin, indecision. graduate high school?
check. graduate college? check. get a great job? check. then what the
hell is the problem? I should be thanking my lucky stars, but instead
I’m reproaching the stars – double checking to see if any of them are
my true north or if I’ve been fooled. let's be clear, i am not unhappy
by any definition, but i guess the honeymoon employment period is over...

in other news, i think i may have chronical
dyslexia. (and i probably just made that up, but let me explain) no,
not chronic dyslexia because that would be habitual and that's not what
i mean. "chronical dyslexia" as in, my mentality wants to go backwards;
this sounds bad, i know but it's under control - i'm in no danger of what nas would call a "second childhood." but i think it boils down to wanting to have more "fun" (for "fun" see a billion different things for a billion different people).

see, when i was younger i was 'mature for my age' (or at least i was told). people made this sound like a compliment, so i continued to perpetuate this behavior. looking back, while mature meant "safe and responsible" it also meant "boring." were it not for my younger sister, i probably wouldn't have had the handful of free-wheeling childhood experiences i did encounter. so one day i caught myself saying, "damn! i totally missed my chance to be 'young and foolish!'" well, no take-backs. i'm not underage, so there will be no fake IDs. not in school anymore, so i can't cut class (and hell no i'm not cutting work). there will be no experimentation with mind altering substances. when i told my husband that i missed my chance to do young and dumb things, he said maybe that was a blessing. maybe i would have gotten too deep into something i couldn't get out of (can you believe it? someone more level-headed than me - in this instance anyway). he makes a good point. i guess what irks me the most is that i don't think i stayed so straight-laced entirely because of my pristine virtues or exemplary moral compass. i mean, i wanted to be a good kid, but often times, i was just scared...

anyway, all that to say that if i create stellar fiction in the future don't raise an eyebrow when you see me in person because there's a pretty good chance i didn't do any of it.

"meditations on voice"

i am participating in a black history month exhibit. the theme of the show is "we speak [for] ourselves", and this is where the theme led me. hope you enjoy...


fast and furious
slow and slurr’d
dropping consonants
and smooshing vowels
Understand?

drawling and dragging
screaming and hollering
singing and shouting
tsking and sighing
You dig?

hands on hips
eyes rolling
neck cocked
head whipping
fingers snap
I heard that!

feet stomping
legs hopping
hips swishing
waist rocking
I know that’s right!

weeping, wailing,
praying, moaning,
chanting, resisting…
Testify!

ancestors and babies
speak to each other
sisters and brothers,
what’s the news?

Funwa L’alafia--
Ashe! Ashe!

Word.


so the poet in me, perhaps she is not dead. but she sure as hell is good at playing possum.

where the hell you been? and reading is FUN again...

so i'm saying to myself, "what is it? almost february and you haven't said anything? what's really good?" i guess i just haven't had much to say, or, to be more honest, i haven't had much that i've wanted to talk about...i finished reading mario puzo's The Godfather last night, partially because i was near the end but also because i couldn't put it down. as soon as Grey's Anatomy went off (excellent episode, by the way), i picked up the novel and didn't move until i knew exactly how michael would restore the corleone family. upon completion of this great book, i was left with a few feelings: 1) michael corleone could get it, 2) there are such subtle ways to gain power and respect (that don't include the crime and violence), 3) i wish there were stronger women characters, 4) did puzo have a problem with black people or was he trying to be historically accurate? i've resolved most of these feelings by now. it matters not to me what the fictional characters in this novel thought of black people - only what i think. the women in this novel really irked me; they were all good and passive(aggressive) italian women, sometimes by force. those who were not were whores or sluts. i could not be at peace with this, so i went to mario puzo's website and read what he felt about his own works. mario says the following about The Godfather: "Whenever the Godfaher opened his mouth, in my own mind i heard the voice of my mother. I heard her wisdom, her ruthlessness, and her unconquerable love for family and for life itself... the Don's courage and loyalty came from her; his humanity came from her...and so, I know now, without Lucia Santa I could not have written The Godfather."

oh. that's what i thought.

lost and found...

today, a friend from middle school contacted me, and i don't know how but i'm so glad she did. when i say friend, i don't mean someone who was in my class or rode the school bus with me (yes, i lived in the burbs for middle school and there was a cheese-like bus involved). she wasn't even in my grade. she was in the grade below me with my sister. it was those two and myself and the fourth was a sister in my grade, and we 4 were 1 - not the same, but still 1. being contacted by this sister today transported me back to a time pre-preconceptions. we made up steps and had sleep overs. we performed in talent shows and hung out with our boy-equivalents. we jumped double dutch and hung posters of brandy and naughty by nature and immature. we sang "creep" and "one in a million" and "red light special." we saw the craft and meditated relentlessly on light as a feather, stiff as a board. we went to the mall with maybe enough money to see a movie and buy a shirt (1 shirt) between the 4 of us and had a freakin' blast! we had summer adventures at my grandmother's house in the bronx and lost each other in the zoo. (that's a huge zoo, man!) when my sister and i moved to jersey city and the other counterparts remained in the burbs, we visited each other by train - new jersey transit was a long ride. we were there for major discoveries in each others' lives - imperfect parents and bogus guys and shady chicks and so many, many things. and it wasn't because we'd read any theory on black womens' relationships and the holistic health benefits of them. we were building community and didn't even know it! we loved each other without agendas or plans of action or political agendas or organizational protocol. nobody told us to or encouraged or discouraged it, but when we found each other we knew we were in the right place at the right time - even if everything seemed to be going wrong at the given moment. we didn't know about college or work or degrees or any of that, but we knew we would be connected always. and we were. and we are. and it is a blessing. it's been more than 8 years since the 4 of us were together, but now that our prodigal has returned it won't be long now. there will be much to share when we reconvene, but i bet my salary (if i were a gambling woman) it will be as though we never missed a beat.

call me crazy, but...

I am hopeful today. I know some of the best minds of my generation, and they are not lost, though we are not all found. There is a chance that we may do some things right – even if it is only to rebel against our parents’ mistakes. And we will make those too, but we talk so much that the word may get out sooner, so we may be able to learn from them and mend things quicker (which is good since time is so much of the essence). We will slow down, and it will be by choice. Our narcissism and determination to “play hard” could translate into good health because there’s too much fun to be had to conk out early. Conversely, playing too hard may end in a shorter game that we anticipated, so follow directions. This does not mean, necessarily, to follow the rules. Our desire to question can lead to exciting discovery, but we don’t have the right to be irreverent and disrespectful. We love the earth more, we love animals more – now if we could just project that inward and towards each other, we may really be on to something. I think we are more than willing to change. I wish we were more willing to make change (and I don’t mean breaking a dollar). We know money causes problems, but none of us have ever met a carefree and destitute individual. Though our behaviors and convictions are mimicked for the sake of familiarity, so ______________ (insert name of business here) can turn a profit, at least, for better or for worse, they are spreading. One day, we will be leaders, and no matter how far those with perceived power are removed from the masses there will be memories of those behaviors and convictions, for better or for worse. Maybe big decisions will make more sense because we will recognize the logic as being something we would do. Maybe they will be good, conscientious decisions. Possibly for the worse, but perhaps for the better; I do not know, but I am hopeful today.

i think i'm in love again...

let me preface this entry by saying that i am fully aware of and take full ownership of my fixation with andre 3000 (but you can call him "possum alloiscous jenkins andre 3000", for short).

jay and i went to see idlewild last saturday (on opening weekend), and while there was no salavating on my part, i really enjoyed the movie. i actually found myself being quite skeptical at first, like, "this is one extra long music video." but then it occurred to me, this is a MUSICAL, genius! it is exactly one extra long video! so, once i was content to be entertained and not the witness of cinematic breakthrough or some revelation about life i really had a good time. i did come to a reaffirmed conclusion though - andre and big boi are BY FAR the best thing the south has to offer hiphop music -BAR NONE... scrap that, these dudes are doing some of the most imaginative work in the industry all around. outside of adaptations of stage plays, i had no idea what a contemporary musical would look like. but they did, and they showed us. i haven't purchased the soundtrack yet, but oh it's coming...

what i can say is that both singles out right now are fresh - "idlewild blues" and "morris brown" would play back to back and repeatedly if i had anything to say about it. (aside: dre, i don't really know what the big floating draws meant; i guess i'm not that deep brotha. shout-out to janelle and scar - looking right in the big boi video.) so i saw the dynamic duo on some video show being interviewed ( i think it was VH1), where said interviewer (i think he's dj envy) proceeded to ask them if they were breaking up. he says, "ok, ok, so i have to ask because i'm feeling like a little kid whose parents are about to divorce - are ya'll breaking up?" the grounds for his question? because on the sdtk/album, they do some songs separate. they were both wearing glasses, but you could see the expressions straight through; their expressions kind of said, "this nigga..." but 3000 and "billy ocean" answered very diplomatically. big boi said something like they're too strong right now and why would they do that and they did some tracks separately to give the full effect of their individual styles, so what is he (said interviewer and haters-at-large) complaining for? it's like getting two for one. 300o reminded ol' boy that they played different characters in the movie and some tracks are character songs, so it wouldn't make sense for "rooster" to be on "percival's" songs and vice versa. in response to breaking up and the relationship of outkast, andre put it in a way that was so...so him. he said, "this like 10th grade love right here." (aside: it's stuff like that which makes it so clear why erykah badu had his baby.) they were both nicer than i would have been. i may have told said interviewer that had he listened to any of kast's last...what?...3 or 4 albums, he would know that they've BEEN DOING some separate tracks on the same album. stop trying to be barbara walters, homie! and to quote "return of the 'g'" (aquemini) "...then they wanna ask the question...'what's wrong with andre? is he on drugs, is he in a cult, is he gay? when ya'll gone break up?' when ya'll gone wake up? nigga, i'm feelin' better than ever what's wrong with you? you get down!" (gansta)...

outkast always makes me dream you know? they show all the time that possibilities are endless, but they are also the end result of hardwork and not resting on one's laurels. i say? not bad for two dope boys in a cadillac.

i don't even know what to call this one...

so, take a good-sized chunk of all the people you love in the world and put them in a room. now put good food (some cupcakes for dessert), cameras, an ill playlist, a sweet and heartfelt slideshow, 6 degrees of separation (or less in some cases), not to mention fresh make-up, a baddasss dress and a fly cat - and you pretty much have one of the best days in my whole life. the weather was not too hot, the ring was oh-so-cold. and i tell you in truth, my face hurt by the end of the night...from smiling so much! (stop being fresh!) the only real hiccup in the whole operation was making it on the plane 4 minutes before take-off. but we made it. the ceremony started later than expected, so the set-up for the dinner afterwards wasn't complete before guests started arriving. but let me tell you why this had to be the gathering of one of the coolest, most loving, most laid back groups of people on earth - because everybody helped set up the place! everybody! it was comfortable and fun and full of love and God sent an awesome vessel to be in that same space that same weekend to record the whole thing. when i told my mom, she almost cried. i heard her say to herself, "see? that's why it's so good to have real friends." i agree, mommy, i agree...

so now there's photo albums to put together, thank you notes to write, lingering thoughts of "why didn't ----- show up?" but NOT asked with malice, only curiosity. special shout out to everyone who had anything to do with that beautiful endeavor *and if you sent us good vibrations, that counts too.* in the end, we were blessed above and beyond. and when i got back to work, they'd announced my promotion. (i tell ya' boy, if i was the shouting type, i'd be jumping up from this monitor right now). it's not back to life as usual. co-workers and friends ask, "how's married life treating you? doesn't it feel pretty much the same?" "no," i say, "it feels better."

that's all for now.

love[ing] al[l]ways,
fruitfly aka "the mrs"

not another irreverent pop-culture movie...

(deep breath). so i was looking online for new films/ movies coming to theaters. i accept that some of the more interesting flicks may not come to middle america, and i'm okay with that but wanted to check anyway. in my cyber searching, i came across a little piece entitled "Another Gay Movie." okay. (another deep breath). i've had a problem with this series of unimaginative, poorly made, spastic tangent movies from the jump. everything that comes to the big screen doesn't have to be a cinematic breakthrough on some level, but i would at least appreciate movies for conscious people. and i don't mean conscious like "in the know and aware"; i mean conscious like "awake in the f*cking theater!" come on! you can't be serious! is this because i'm not a t[w]eenager anymore? would i have paid $7.50 to see this crap years ago? (i honestly do not think so). it's a process of capitalistic copycat complementary regurgitation. not to mention, if one doesn't view these movies within the first 2 weeks of their release, then half of the references will be our generation's version of "dated." and they are self serving - if you haven't seen a great number of other bogus fad movies (and kept up with your celebrity news, i suppose), you won't even get half of the the poorly delivered jokes. for the record, i am not a stiff. i will let some stereotypes and ignorance prevail in my own mind for the sake of a good joke (probably more often that i should be okay with admitting). but it has to be a good joke. i will even be okay with a few pellets of BS in the mix for the sake of range (a little something for everyone). so the first... oh... 2 movies like this - okay, but it should have stopped there. now, people are using movies as vessels to spread their bass ackwards (and probably true) opinions of other people, cultures, etc and to perpetuate ancient stereotypes (and probably some new ones). the collective conscience is sensitive to this sort of thing, whether we want to believe that or not. the sad part is that this can go on forever. what's next? "Not Another Black Movie", "Not Another Independent Movie", "Not Another Foreign Film?" the creators of this mockery in the past had the audacity to call it satire, but satire is what? "irony, sarcasm, or caustic wit used to expose folly, vice or stupidity." they don't all hit such a high mark. so some have been wise enough lately (and perhaps honest enough too) to call their creations spoofs. much more fitting, as a spoof is "n. 1 nonsense, tomfoolery; 2 a hoax; v. 3 to deceive." well no kidding. here we are going to see "funny" movies and getting no more than the backlash to political correctness. who's being bamboozled now? (not so funny, is it?)...

and don't think you can pick them out by title either. remember "White Chicks"? "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle"? too far back, how about "Little Man"?...

i don't mean to sound snobbish or full of myself; i'm just really concerned...