can't spell autumn without ANTM...

With the lull and relaxation of summer behind us. We move forward into the fall – deep, rich color pallets; warm scents of sweet and spice; frosted mornings, shorter days and chilly nights; the sound of ice cream trucks replaced by the sound of school buses. For many of us, this means it’s time to get back to work, but for 13 girls, in particular, this time means, “You better work!” (That’s the first and last time I quote RuPaul)

America’s Next Top Model returned last night for it’s 9th cycle, and I couldn’t have been more ready. I wanted to live-blog during the show (trying to step my blog game up), but the computer is upstairs and the telly is downstairs and I haven’t remedied that yet. I missed the first few minutes which means I haven’t heard how the theme music has been revamped (as it certainly has), but I was along for the ride during most of their 1 hour tour…their 1 hour tour…
The 30 ANTM hopefuls found themselves on a cruise ship this time, where they were individually interviewed and assessed. [Disclaimer: I will try my best to keep the sailing references to a minimum, but I make no promises.] Of course, tears, attitudes, antics and motion sickness abounded. Tyra, J1, and J2 did not disappoint in their random behavior. (Simulated butt waxing? Really Tyra?) The ship made a stop in Antigua (I think), where the first elimination was made; the 20 girls with “passport” photos were allowed back on the ship while the 10 others were marooned on the island. The second and final elimination for the night appeared to happen on deck. The girls have made it through the first cut, so going home may hurt a little more at this point (but, um, not really). There were 2 girls who left last night that I was actually sorry to see them leave, Anchorage and Boston Bartender (I don’t remember their names, but they’re already gone so give me a break). Anchorage was super tough and very grounded; Boston seemed a little tough too, and I could have listened to that accent all day.

Now, on to those we will see next week:


Ambreal – is a student from Dallas, TX, who rocked denim legwarmers last night that looked like the bottom half of some bootcut jeans - definitely homemade. She even kept them on when she modeled a swimsuit. Maybe that’s her take on chaps? (Maybe she should take them off).


Bianca –is also a student, but Bianca is special because she is from Queens, NY. Note the early Keisha Cole-esque two-toned hair – Kool-Aid on the top and black on the bottom. Bianca has already established her adversary and claimed her domain because let’s not forget Bianca is special because she is from Queens, NY.


Chantal – is a student; she’s from Austin, TX, and has decided to make good on what people have told her all her life – that she should be a model. Mr. J is on the boat as well; he’s already called her out by saying her movement and features are model-esque. She’s conventionally beautiful and all, but show and prove, Miss Chantal; until then I’m not drinking the Kool-Aid.

Ebony – is a nursing student from Chicago, IL, and wasted no time establishing herself as the…um…oh…(what’s the word?) b*tch of this cycle. At one of their first meals together, Ebony says to the group, “Let’s play a game called ‘Who has an eating disorder?’” Like I said, b*tch (not my words – her actions). The most upsetting thing is that I know plenty of people from the Chi, and they are all hella cool. So she’s a poor ambassador indeed.

Heather – is a college student from Valparaiso, IN (don’t know where that is). She’s been diagnosed with ADHD and a mild form of autism that makes her posture and movement awkward at times. Tyra and the J’s think that she’s beautiful (I agree), and that her condition could make her a force when it’s time for couture posing. She’s quietly confident and made a good first impression. I like this girl.

Janet – is an Aesthetician from Bainbridge, GA. (I don’t know where that is either.) She’s one of the elders here, at the ripe old age of 22. (Can I say that without laughing? No, I can’t.) She’s already got her look pulled together; Mr. J complimented her buy saying, “I love when we have a girl that we don’t have to make over.” Janet left her mark (or should I say left me scarred) when, upon Tyra’s request no less, she performed a simulated butt waxing. (Sometimes at night, I can still hear the screaming.)

Jenah – is a student from Farmington, CT. I don’t remember anything else about her. Lucky for Jenah, I’m not a judge (technically). ;)



Kimberly – is a student from Ocala, FL. She brought Tyra a gift when she interviewed – a little horse statue. “I’m from the horse capital of the country,” she says. Did anyone else think Kentucky? I’m not the only one, am I? Yeah right, liars.


Lisa – is a bikini dancer from Jersey City, NJ. (Not to be confused with an exotic dancer because apparently there’s a difference, right? She was clear about it though – not nude or topless.) Lisa comes across as fun, unassuming, confident (but not cocky). She didn’t strip tease during her interview, thank goodness. I disclose my hometown favoritism right now.

Mila – is a recent college graduate from Boston, MA, but her look screams that her origins are from someplace far more northern and colder and European. There’s a naïveté in her face; she’s got that hot foreign exchange student thing going on (which is funny because she’s from the states).


Saleisha – is a receptionist from Los Angeles, CA. Saleisha also thinks that she is special because she attended Tyra’s T-Zone camp when she was younger. Tyra says that she will be harder on Saleisha because of this fact. I believe neither of them. When asked about her worst feature, this chick couldn’t think of one (oh boy!) When asked about her favorite feature, she said her hair. Dear ANTM, please cut all of Saleisha's hair on the make-over episode. Thank You.

Sarah – is a college student from Heath, MA, and the trio cannot figure out how to peg her. Sarah’s got a beautiful figure and great proportion (says Mr. J). But she’s bigger than a typical model, and very small for a plus size model. She may actually need to gain a few pounds. (Whoda thunk it?)


Victoria – is a student from New Haven, CT. This Yale girl looks like she just walked out of a Jane Austen novel. She was quick to tell the judges how smart she was but equally as quick to admit she didn’t think all of the girls were too bright. (Somebody get her a PR tutor, quick!) Hopefully, she’s not too cerebral in her approach. That hasn’t boded well for brainy beauties in previous cycles.


There’s no shortage of egos in this group. It’s too early to tell, but here are the girls I think will be around for a while:
Ambreal
Lisa
Heather
Mila
Victoria
Saleisha
Janet

09/26 - retraction: i was wrong about Saleisha. anonymous informed me that she was not the one who thought her hair was her best feature (i could have sworn...) Dear ANTM, Don't cut Saleisha's hair off. I was just playin' ;)