it's been a long time, i shouldn't'a left you...

i didn't intend to go this long without checking in, but hey things happen. so let's see, what's been goin's'on: to quote whatever sports network says this, jay's visit was "the best week ever!"...i made a month on the job on september 8th - yes time does indeed fly. i'm finding a rhythm and getting comfortable. i think spelman and delta would be proud...bought my first piece(s) of furniture for the apartment. no, that was not supposed to happen this early in the plan, but they were used and a great deal (4 bar stools for less than one may cost). yeah, bar stools. grown-ass-woman-much?...hung out with a spelman sister last weekend (c/o '95). it was real cool; her boyfriend's a bruh (excellent)... went to a few clubs. it's not the atl or the jc/ny nightlife, but i'll keep looking... the flood took me by storm (honestly, no pun intended), as i'm sure it did everyone else. yet, i am so glad about the response in our community; it's unfortunate that it took for the others to turn their backs. the true test will be a year or so from now. it's like any other catastrophe. everyone shows up in the beginning, but you really need people around when something else is big news and you're still in devastation (i'll dedicate more to that later)... oh sisterfire! i nearly wept at the flyer. so bitter sweet, to have been a part and yet a part no longer. i wish i could reach out and touch it. i didn't cry at graduation, and i didn't cry very much throughout. but i tell you true, walking passed the women's center one summer afternoon, peering through the glass and for the first time perceiving those windows as a partition, something separating me instead of protecting and holding me inside - that was emotional...

so, being engaged is something that i have grown comfortable with, but something happened during that "best week ever!" that got us to talking a dates and moving forward (GULP). i'm excited, don't get me wrong; there's just something about having a date - seeing an end point - that makes things so much more real and it makes me so nervous. (in the best kind of way, but nervous nonetheless). jay has to move. where's the money for this coming from? where will it be? can all of the beautiful people who i want to witness this special occassion attend? can i really pull this off in less than a year? should i be worrying about bigger things than this (globally speaking)? i'm not going to worry myself prematurely. to top it all off, after this talk began, i suddenly started seeing all of this stuff like wedding episodes of sitcoms and this show called "bridezilla." do you believe that people put all of their wedding drama on television? lookin' crazy! i'm not beat about too many things, so i won't start now (okay ya'll, so help me hold to that statement)