and then there were 4. through extreme dental cosmetic surgery, debilitating sickness, sicking arrogence and embarassing awkwardness, jade, joanie, danielle and sarah have come this far - still trying to claim their fame. time to pull out all the stops, right? we'll see, or rather, go see...
after being instructed on thai courtesies (buying gifts for your host, taking shoes off at the door, and the like), the girls went on go-sees this week. but of course it couldn't be that simple. they had to buy gifts for the designers they were going to see, ride in mini, open-air (meaning no sides or doors) taxis and see as many designers as they could before returning to the hotel at a specific time. this part of the episode looked like a rat race with some beautiful and interesting clothes interspersed for good measure. i did learn the aesthetically polographic capabilities of a polaroid, though - so the time wasn't wasted. when NONE of the girls made it back to the hotel on time, danielle, the woulda-been winner, got to watch her woulda-been prize, racks of clothes (one from each designer), be wheeled away before her very eyes. "because no one returned on time," said the proctor of the mission, "no one is the winner." damn, that's cold! let's just take a minute and meditate on that monumental loss. but all was not lost because the girls returned to their apartment to find that they were going to an island paradise to do a swimsuit photo shoot (to be produced by "the noted fashion photographer, nigel barker")...
there was trouble in paradise. joanie's been stepping her game up and jade's feeling the heat. jade kept insisting, "she ain't on my level," but is it just me or was jade trying to convice herself? hmm... joanie's got a tall-ass chip on her shoulder named sarah, and has been articulating her disdain for the lady. can't be mad though, sarah went through the least to get on the show and has done the least to stay in the running; i'd be pissed too! cause if you gotta lose, let it at least be to a passionate and worthy adversary. but when tyra visited the house in phuket, all the pettiness got put aside. the girls learned that the very island they inhabited was completely destroyed by the tsunami disaster only a couple of years before. how's that for perspective? the moment of silence lingered long after tyra left; the girls seemed to take into account that as much as the competition means to them, there are bigger issues in life - much bigger. no sooner then tyra layed that heaviness on them did the girls have to shake it off because it was time for a shoot with (judge+photographer=) judographer, nigel...
i think the rough waves were a manifestation of nigel's mind, they molested the girls (that flithy-mc-nasty!). it's pretty hard to be soft and supple when you're being pummeled by rip tides, but lo and behold! they pulled it off -even danielle, whose interaction with the water was nothing short of comical. sort of ironic considering danielle's mind lingered on the victims of the tsunami and the violent qualities of her liquid co-star. sarah had such a time getting her act together that they just had to take her out of the water altogether. jade was able to do something that comes naturally to her in this shoot - she got to rock the boat. but the boat rocked back; she wasn't ready for that part. joanie's confidence stayed high and she handled the shoot like a pro, rough water and all. all four pulled off some really good photos, but the client, i must say, was a bit on the wack side. pictures of models as a screen saver for a cell phone? i'm not feelin' it. i don't care what adolescent boy will pay, let him buy magazines like the perves of yore. but it was for ellegirl, and at the end of the day - a job is a job. (but couldn't you just hear that story at a go-see interview? interviewer: "i know i've seen you before...wait! i saw you on a phone once!" weird.)...
as is the obvious, panel is going a lot quicker these days. jade and joanie were quickly put at ease when their names were called. then sarah and danielle were asked to step forward. they didn't size each other up like furonda and jade did last week (i know you caught it! that was hysterical!). tyra commenced her customary tearing-down, telling each of the girls what she is and what she ain't. someone observed once that whoever she rips on the hardest tends to stay, so when tyra started in on sarah i got a little nervous. then she started saying that a top model need to be able to talk - got a little more nervous. my soliloquy with the television went a little something like this:
"what?...she be'd not...stop playing tyra...true, true,...oh i will be too through if...(holds breath)...yes! that's what i'm talking about! tyra ain't stupid! that's whassup!...it's about damn time!"
i do feel for sarah a bit because her fervor really came through this episode, umpteen weeks into the competition. maybe if she had that from the beginning, she wouldn't have gone home. but like danielle said, she's there for a reason. i hope i know what that reason is, but i'll keep my mouth shut till next week.
and then there were three...
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