What’s the hold up? I am much more hesitant than I used to be about posting first drafts. I think it’s because first drafts can really suck. So why would I, one who cares about words and the combination thereof, put first draft drivel out for all to see? Maybe I spoke too soon about my participation in this year’s NPM challenge. I’m trying to see it as a sign of growth, though – that I am becoming more discerning and honest and objective about my work – when I can read something newly written and say, “Wow, that’s bad.”
That being said, here's another one - probably not so great in its current form, but I'm not apologizing.
"The Missionaries Are Coming"
My soul isn’t lost
I know just where it is.
But perhaps I can help you find
what a pure smile looks like,
how to get along with very little
and God.
The God that you read about,
who only visits you on Sundays,
I will show you Him in the waters.
He whispers to me on walks to the market.
He is keeping my grandmother alive
till she’s taught me all I need to know.
God is with everyone here—
maybe it’s because our houses
have no windows and we keep our doors open.
He can come and go as He pleases.
In return, He sustains us
by your visits, between your visits and long after you've gone.
So, welcome, nice to see you again.
But my soul isn’t lost
I know right where it is.
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5 comments:
I like this poem a lot. I'm not good at analyzing poetry (at least my high school teacher told me so, lol). But I like this a lot. I'm looking forward to seeing what other incarnations it takes on as you edit it.
Loved it! And stop with the three paragraph disclaimers, if you put it out there, "hey this my first draft, it may not be good", guess what is going to lingering in the back of the reader's mind, hmmm?
I like this work..
We're having a God who is having perfect plans for each second of our life..
You're absolutely correct..
Take care
If you're having time then do visit
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The Skylark
Beautiful. If I had first drafts like that, you can be sure I'd be posting them. :) You have such a gift for storytelling...I love the way it's all stated so simply. And it has a peaceful, yet challenging tone. I really love it.
I love the way you write it's simply beautiful! I've always loved poetry. I've written a lot of poems myself. My first drafts never look this good. Keep up the good work i look forward to reading more from you.
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