punch-line KO...(&) easy, breezy, bumbling...

“All the world's a stage, and men and women merely players. They have their exists and their entrances…” This week, the girls were all players, ay! Poor players indeed! Tyra's collapse ended up being quite portentous, as it foretold how every single girl would fall flat at the covergirl challenge. And what was suppose to be wil'-ing out was really just playing the fool.”


So the girls attended this improvisation class where they were to learn how to think on the spot and react. I thought Jade would do well since she's been putting on since the season started. She says, “This is great because I always wanted to take an acting class.” Oh, puh-lease! Mollie Sue was excited too; since height isn't on her side, she hoped this would be an opportunity to cultivate the personality that the panel believes to be intrinsic to her hair color for some odd reason. Jade receives some unsolicited advice from the instructor, “sometimes, it's not all about you.” Amen!...

This was a really good episode for Furonda. Her response to Tyra's “fainting” really showed a genuine compassion in her. Who knew she would get so worked up? It was really sweet though, the poor dear. Meanwhile, Jade didn't even move from the couch when Tyra pretended to pass out; she must have thought with Tyra out of the way, Victoria's Secret would come busting down her door (naïve Jade! I laugh in your ill-formed face- ha ha). Once I saw that it was Tyra falling, I knew acting lessons were at hand, but when I saw the preview I thought to myself, “now which one let her eating disorder get out of control?” They were not so lucky as the ladies of cycle 3 - no Taye Diggs. My guess is Tyra agreed to this when she was on Nick Cannon's show. So, the ladies had a chance to loosen up and wil' out. Furonda, Joanie and Mollie Sue seemed to have the most fun. Nenna would have been funnier, if we could just understand what she was saying! Brooke was too busy sweating and blushing to really take part. Leslie, Daniel and Sarah participated, but not to any amazing degree. Then we have Jade, no-direction-following-quick-ego-bruising-insecurity-leveraging-wack-as-all-outdoors-Jade. Nick should've ragged on her. Oh I wish he did! She was not funny and taking herself way too seriously. So, she starts taking shots at the girls - things that they may be self-conscious about - Furonda's skin and Sarah's height. Totally uncalled for! Nobody said anything about your striking rodent resemblance, Jade, so you didn't have to take it there. And you still didn't win the challenge, punk! (By the way, Furonda and Nenna, good job on the PSA)…

For their challenge, the ladies got their first gander at the covergirl promised land. No shoot, instead they did improv commercials - allowed only two takes - where they had to fill thirty seconds and the only required lines were “Easy. Breezy. Beautiful. Covergirl.” I repeat, the only required lines were, “Easy, breezy, beautiful, Covergirl.” Well, not so easy, breezy. Sarah was up first, and she was natural and beautiful and remembered the product. If it weren't for the implied alcoholism and the wingspan of an albatross, she would have got the product in the frame and nailed it. Then there was Mollie Sue who would have been better off taking the sales pitch of how the foundation covers bruises because she looked like she wanted to fight. If she were trying to sell Marlboro's, it would have been brilliant. Furonda folded at the end - just because cheerleaders wear Covergirl it doesn't mean to mimic them (Ready? OK! Easy. Breezy. Beautiful). It looked like she had some leftover editorial poses from last week that she needed to get out. Joanie can't think on her feet; when she choked, I did too. I almost spit my drink out for laughing when she started rambling about LA (which would have been bad because I have carpeting). What are you talking about, Joanie? Then poor frightful Brooke broke. What did she say? “I just love wearing Covergirl…It's so nice to wear…” Yeah, that's definitely the result of a phobia because nobody uses 'nice' on purpose; I was embarrassed for her. Daniel's accent wasn't as extreme as Tyra made it out to be, but I'd be lying if I said the gap wasn't distracting. Leslie rocked the house! She floated through the set, she kept eye contact with the camera (a look enough to make me blush even!) and that lilac was an awesome color on her. She just radiated beauty and confidence, but Jay said she spoke too quickly (what was that about diarrhea, Jay?). Nenna's improvised script was genius, but she pushed through the crowd, which didn't film as friendly. Maybe she should have channeled the cheesy from her Sears shoot. Then there's Jade (you knew it was coming) who was too fabulous for her own good. That sky blue was a weird color choice because she's already kind of yellow. The incessant spinning probably made the cameraman dizzy, and the pièce de résistance - forgetting the product totally and swearing when you do. Oh I loved it, and turning the bottle around to look at it, no less! If all the world is a stage, you should be relegated to working the curtain, my friend. None of the girls were really pleased with their commercials, so when Nenna went backstage, gloating after her take, it wasn't surprising that they all regarded her something similar to Caesar in his final visit to the capitol…

Everyone looked pretty silly at panel, with only two takes apiece I didn't expect much more. But while everyone else just took their criticism, Jade has to start pointing fingers. She gave the same excuse with the wil' out exercise, “If I had more direction…” That's why it's called improv, sweetie! Deal with it! I thought that would be enough to get her sent home, but the panel disappointed me again. When the elimination was down to Jade and Mollie Sue, she didn't live up to the judges' expectations of a redhead's personality - totally in their own minds. The quirky (but not quirky enough) redhead took her final bow.


Mollie Sue reaches a tragic end, the villain proceeds to the next act and Nenna and her boyfriend? That's an entirely different drama altogether.

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