The best thing about life in your twenties is
you finally get to start feeling like a "real" adult because you've got two and a half decades under your belt. When the first decade went under there, it meant that soon you'd have boobs like Pam Grier (hey, we all had dreams!) and that your teeth were beginning to shrink to match your face. The beginning of the second decade meant that soon you'd be able to drink too much LEGALLY and that you got to start believing you were smarter than you actually were. The latter half of the second decade means you've got the tits, you can start showing those teeth again (because you're through with those self-conscious years where you were above an utterly shameless grin), you know exactly how much to drink (although you don't actually need to drink at all) to find that grin without showing it to the toilet later, and you really ARE as smart as you think.
you finally get to start feeling like a "real" adult because you've got two and a half decades under your belt. When the first decade went under there, it meant that soon you'd have boobs like Pam Grier (hey, we all had dreams!) and that your teeth were beginning to shrink to match your face. The beginning of the second decade meant that soon you'd be able to drink too much LEGALLY and that you got to start believing you were smarter than you actually were. The latter half of the second decade means you've got the tits, you can start showing those teeth again (because you're through with those self-conscious years where you were above an utterly shameless grin), you know exactly how much to drink (although you don't actually need to drink at all) to find that grin without showing it to the toilet later, and you really ARE as smart as you think.
- An Amazing Woman
Besides smiling and laughing while reading the above (because, seriously, my nickname was Chiclets during that big teeth phase), I like what this response does. It reminds me that even though twenty-somethings are still children in the eyes of many, we've come a long way, Baby! We are well equipped to begin a conversation with, "I remember when..." or "Do you remember that time?..." We have memories and experiences, we have stories to tell -- silly ones and tearjerkers alike. That's major evidence of adulthood right there.
Everyone likes to talk about how easy childhood was, but we are still close enough to our single-digit and adolescent years to remember that they weren't all snow cones and hopscotch. There were cliques, labels, bullies, heartbreaks, insecurities; there was confusion, fear, misunderstanding, embarrassment and the list probably goes on. No we didn't have to pay bills, but we sure paid dues. The fact that we can look back and laugh is a testament to the resilience of children. That we have made it far enough to look back at all suggests that we can survive, and maybe that we've learned something. Life has plenty more to teach us in this next stage, but let's not ignore or discredit the lessons that we bring with us to this point, resilience being one of the most valuable among them.
If only more adults could look back and laugh (and I'm including us when I say 'adults'). I've seen more families fissured, more friendships dissolved, more beautiful faces wrinkled by anger lines as a result of holding grudges than I even care to think about. And for what? It's so ironic that we are fastest to forgive at an age when we have "all the time in the world", and when time is flying by ever so quickly we have the audacity to waste it being bitter, wounded and scared.
I think it is worth the effort to remember childhood, the good the bad and the ugly. I think it's worth the effort to continue to practice resilience, forgiveness, sharing, wonder -- all of the great lessons of our youth. It would make us better grown-ups. We've all been told not to sweat the small stuff. Well, insha-Allah (if it be God's will) we will live long enough where it's all small stuff. And we will find the things that mattered in childhood are the things that still matter: people who love you, doing it for your self (whatever "it" is) and - best of all - recess.
** ps - that beautiful photo was found here.
3 comments:
I always joke in a way that is kind of true that i am going through my third adolescence. First the real one, the one most painful, but wonderfully unaware of itself, the next college where I watched my highschoolmates tackle adulthood with children, marriages, and divorces (in that order), and yet again this one because I am still living September to May, and scraping the rest of the way. Because yet another herd of classmates (college) are catapulting into adulthood and I am still making christmas lists. But so much more aware. So much more open to the pains of growing and shaping my life. Still very aware that I am still stunted in parts of my emotional development, and quite overdeveloped in others. I'm learning this time is not about learning what to do with my life, but learning my method for it. Oh, who would I be without this time?
Working no doubt. And still not knowing.
blackgirl - i think the piece about awareness is so key because many 9-to-5ers with all the fixin's of adulthood are merely going through the motions. i often wonder if to be "adults" how many just change their behaviors to mimic the "grown-ups" they saw as children. so there is no real growth, just a random change in behavior. then we're unhappy, unfulfilled, unsatisfied and still don't get that we should be learning & developing our personal methodology for life. instead we write it off as "life is hard"; and since the adults we modeled ourselves after had these same symptoms, we think this must be what it means to be grown-up. we couldn't be more wrong.
I absolutely think it's worth the effort to remember childhood.
And also, I'm still not exactly sure how much to drink.
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