there's a whole w(h)id(t)e world out there!

i'm goin' to kansas city, kansas city here i come...

flew into kansas city, mo, on the 26th. interviewed all day on the 27th, and i should know something by the end of this week. i wanted to hold out, to keep it to myself until i knew the final outcome, but what the hell? what good is this thing if i use it to keep informatin from people - especially the handful of ya'll who read it? so yes, i got the interview. yes, i feel like it went well. i want to claim it without being cocky. i want to have back-up plans without being pessimisstic (and i think i just butchered the spelling of that word). i didn't get to see much, but on the metropolis-meter kc is not ny; it's not jc; hell, it ain't even atl. they say, "it's the big city that feels like a small town." that sounds like code for, "we got alot of big buildings, but there isn't shit to do here." hope i'm wrong. hope i'm fortunate and blessed enough where my concern is what to do for fun in kc, nah mean?... the move is far and far removed, but it may be time for me to be unknown again... i did make it home and to my lil bro's 8th grade graduation. he cried, my mom cried, some teachers cried. i'm so proud of him; he's growing into such a young man and my little meLissa, well oh my goodness! families go through stuff sometimes, but damn do i love mine. i look at my baby brother and sister (who are 13 and 12 and not babies by any stretch of the imagination) and see no limit on their future. my mom, she is doing what she is capable of and i hope she feels validated in her efforts when we achieve the way that we do, all 5 of us in our respective ways...hot damn, my tasha is back. this is big ass news! this one has been in spain all school year and i have missed her like no other. today we cracked jokes ceaselessly and laughed 'til we cried and it was wonderful to not have to explain my humor - none of it. after graduation we went to my mom's and then met up at the mall later. our respective "ball-and-chains" were with us (i say that affectionately), but they walked behind us talking and we galivanted about, arm in arm, being sisters and best friends. bonded over the semi-annual, how lovely! worried about who to contact while i'm home. i know i won't be able to see everyone and picking and choosing is not my bag, never has been. but it would be wrong not to at least let people know that i am here, no?... with just a little more counsel, i made decide to take matters into my own hands. she said regret was one of the worst things to have. i agree. i only get to do this lifeitme once, right?...that's too far to be alone, bu maybe it will allow me to do some more growing up (wow, that shit never ends, huh?)... invited to be a part of 3, but wondering of there is a hidden invite to be a part of 2. both invitaions are tempting..when there is a euphoric confusion that starts to settle down, either by clarity or fatigue, do we stir it back up? perplex ourselves once more because we've become addicted to the butterflies?
"i guess i'll see you next lifetime. no hard feelings, baby." - erykah badu
"you ain't gotta save mine for later, i'd rather have it right now anyway." - darius lovehall (love jones)

peace,
tmL