it's early in the morning. the day after i have completed my academic tasks and instead of feeling really good, i just feel hung over. does that make sense? i've thought more about this blogging thing, and i guess it's a good idea if i'm going to live far away from friends and family. they can read it to keep up with me because anybody who knows me knows that i'm pretty bad at keeping in touch. don't mean to be, just am. i got a return email from hallmark staffing saying that they received my application and i will hear back in 3-4 weeks. i was so nervous when i sent it. i have to find another hustle for the summer because right now i'm staring down the barrel of unemployment and homelessness. wonder if i can stay for another month in that apartment? wonder if i can find a job in GA? wonder if i could be on the brink of the greatest grown-ass summer of my life? i'm getting excited just thinking about it. it would be a period of well deserved freedom and boundless creativity. i bet i could finish my play. i bet i could learn a whole bunch of cool hole-in-the-wall spots in atlanta. i bet i could actively cherish friendships and actively deepen the ones that i have not had the time to cultivate. i bet i could befriend some strangers. life is so filled with possibility. i must not forget that. even if employment doesn't come so quick or i can't get another month in that apartment or whatever less than desirable thing may befall me. it's all gravy because i can always control the way i handle a situation even if i can't handle the situation itself, savvy? i haven't been awake early like this in a long time. i miss the sun. this solar powered woman's been running on fumes, but not today. i am awake and my sun is here and she will take care of me, so i can take care of somebody else. i saw "pay it forward" for the first time on sunday. it was so good. it brought out the utopian in me and i haven't seen her for a while. i even got teary at the end, but that's cause other stuff was plaguing me too. i cry at movies sometimes so people won't link it to something else. after battling the slings and arrows of procrastination on yesterday and coming out unscathed, here i go again...i'm claiming a new space today, a space of: energy, confidence, professionalism, vision, freedom, love, God, nature, patience, focus, sexiness (hell yes, and it's about time if i may say so). for some of these things it's just a matter of kicking it up a notch, for others - it's experimentation. either way, i plan to enjoy the ride.
peace, tmL
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