for whom the [wedding] bell tolls...(or) four weddings and a second mortage...(or) the wrong number...

so i can laugh at this now, in that "things are always funnier in retrospect" sort of way. started making calls, looking to book potential caterers, halls, etc. and whatnot. found a nice spot. beautiful scenic restaurant by the hudson. wouldn't have to decorate a thing, and if the food was half as good as the location then it would be fabulous. so i call them on my lunch hour (imagine the anectdotal gesturing of one's hand into the shape of a phone...that's it).

SAID BANQUET HALL DIRECTOR: Hello?
YOURS TRULY: Hello? Yes, I wanted to inquire about potentially renting a hall for a reception dinner? It's a relatively small party. So, I need a space that wouldn't swallow everyone and make it look empty.
SBHD: (Chuckles) I understand. How many?... Oh, we could give you the Manhattan Hall and split it in half. It has a wonderful view.
YOURS: Sounds great! Now, what would be the base rate for this package?
SBHD: Well, first let me tell you what you get...
Aside:(Know, how 'bout you tell me what i asked you...)
SBHD:...You get the hall with seating, flatware and linens for 8 hours; you get 3 courses - appetizer, entree and dessert with service; you get one night in the honeymoon suite which our staff will decorate...and that would be fifteen thousand dollars.
YOURS (in thought): You gotta be f*cking kidding me! is the restaurant gonna fly all of my guests back to their homes? Is ambrosia of the immortals on the menu? Is every person on your staff buying gifts for the newlyweds? There'd better be a complimentary honeymoon to Florenece or something! (out loud) Okay. Well, I'll need to talk to my father since he's funding this operation (you lying!), but we'll be in touch.
END SCENE

And what have we learned? If you're looking for a guilt free way to get people for as much money as they can stand, enter the wedding industry. Any area will do. There's a sucker with her father's checkbook getting engaged every minute! Not me boys and girls; I obviously dialed the wrong number.